Post 2: 2's a couple, and couples conflict. (Edited)

All through my life, I have tried to be a peacemaker, an avoider of conflict, and the bringer of harmony. It was only after I met my girlfriend that I became aware of how susceptible I personally was to conflicts. Don't misunderstand me. My girlfriend is no quarrelsome woman. She is a wonderful wonderful person! The conflicts to now arose only because she is wired differently from me.

Perhaps it's through some anomaly in natural selection that the phenomenon of PMS is still present in our current society. PMS refers to Pre-Menstrual Syndrome. These three letters spell out a period of increased emotionality, increased illogicality and increased demands from me in my girlfriend. And it is during the period (N.P.I) when PMS is exhibited by her that I am the most vulnerable to conflicts.

At this time of the month, funny and seemingly unreasonable demands come flowing in.

"Why are you going out with the same friends two times in the same month?" 

"Why are you calling me and not smsing me?" 

(Two months prior to that, it was, " Why are you smsing me so much and not calling me?")

One particular incident that I remember took place in church. It was just after service and I was talking to a friend who brought his girlfriend to our church for the first time. I was trying to give him and his girlfriend some attention when my girlfriend, who did not really like him, came over and tried to tell me something. And because I was giving listening to my friend who was still talking, I told her to wait. Then, she started shaking my arm and said really loudly, "LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN!" With that, I turned around furiously and asked, "WHAT?". (pause) You have to understand. I have a thing with politeness. So, I absolutely hate it when people are unnecessarily rude to me, or even worse, asking me to be rude. At that time, she was doing both, being rude to me, and asking me to be rude by talking to her while my friend is talking to me. I was so angry because I felt that her outburst was uncalled for. She was almost like a spoilt kid who wanted something from a busy dad! (play) She said, "I'm going off", and walked away. Apparently, she was having the 'spoilt child' syndrome because of PMS, and I kind of knew it. But because of another anomaly of natural selection called Pride (the irrational male type), I decided not to chase after her and continued chatting with my friend as if nothing happened. It was just a small conflict, but that morning was the catalyst for a bigger fight in the evening which I shall not bore you with. The only things that you have to know is that she managed to link this event with several other seemingly unrelated ones, and used all their combined weight to accuse me of never standing on her side during arguments. With that, she also coerced me to say that I would back her in any arguments with people, which leads me to the next point.

Sometimes, even if it could settle arguments, I would hesitate to agree to certain conditions set by my girlfriend during PMS if I know would put me at a disadvantageous position in the future, or which makes little sense. Conditions like  "You cannot high five girls when you play sports," or "You cannot lift up your shirt to wipe your sweat when you play sports" have been easy to adhere to. But I find others like, "In the future when you become a teacher, you cannot give your students your phone number. If they want to ask you questions, they have to do so by email" hard to comply with. By agreeing to such demands, I would be able to pacify her. But in the long run, it would set the stage for more conflicts.

I love my girlfriend, and I do not only want to learn how to bear with her on a temporal basis. So if ANYONE has any insights to how to handle PMS and PMS related requests (for the long run), feel free to post your comments on this!

Edit:
Thank you all for your comments! I must agree that many of your comments are wonderful, and they reflect the stance that I have adopted in response to PMS. From my girlfriend, I understand that at the onset of PMS, sometimes girls do not see illogicalities in their arguments. So, I'm taking steps to learn how to stop my rational breaking down of situations during PMS, and to talk with my girlfriend on an emotional level. I had learnt much from all your comments, and I would strive to apply what I have been taught in real life. Thanks! =)

Effective Communication

Consider a firefighter. His job is to fight fires. Yet, the firefighter who hears a screaming voice in the midst of the fire, yet chooses to carry out his job of putting out the fire, has by default failed. Why? Because even though the role of the firefighter is to put out fires, his most fundamental purpose is to save lives. By ignoring the call to save a life, he is shown to have lost sight of the fundamental purpose of his job. 

We can draw a parallel to communication. The most fundamental purpose of communication is to inform, to educate and to enlighten. People communicate so that their ideas and thoughts can be understood. Many think that professional communication involves using complex words which will awe the listener, and to somehow subconsciously convey the impression that one is competent (in whatever he does). This is not a problem, unless it comes to the point when his words prove to be so complex that they confound. In that situation, he has already made the mistake of putting out the fire at the expense of saving lives. 

To me, effective communication is a necessity because my bread and butter depends on communication. As a to-be teacher, I see an evolving role of teachers. A competent teacher now no longer solely imparts knowledge. That's Wikipedia's job. He also has to impart the love of learning, and the only way that he is able to do so is through effective communication. To let the students know what is interesting about the topic they are learning, and to be able to illustrate complicated concepts in a simple way that they can understand and will therefore be interested in. This ES2007S curriculum which includes peer teaching, learning of 7Cs, interpersonal skills, communication skills will surely enhance and upgrade my abilities as a communicator, and ultimately, as a teacher. I hope that through the course, I will not lose sight of the initial reasons in which I have chosen ES2007S, but be fixated on the lives that are in the midst of the fire.

First ever blog

Or rather,my first ever blogger blog. Does it work as I think it does?